


We're all a bit (lot) more broken now

by Sashaya



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison is dead, Angst, Gen, Hurt/No Comfort, I tag it now so you know what to expect, no happy ending, not a fix-it fic, slash (in future chapter), suicide attempt (in future chapter), suicide thoughts (in future chapter), very short chapters, violence (in future chapter) but nothing explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:31:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1500236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashaya/pseuds/Sashaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison’s death didn’t go without an echo. It resonated in her friends’ souls. After all, <i>death doesn’t happen to you – it</i> <i>happens to everyone around you.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Derek

**Author's Note:**

> _**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Wolf._
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>  **A/N:** This story happens after Allison’s death (which I deny but I also think she deserves a closure). I might mix my favorite pairings in but the main theme is how the people that Allison left deal without her.

It’s been a long time since he attended a funeral. 

Derek stays in the back, barely being there but paying his respects. He doesn’t want to be here, wants to run away but it’s Allison’s last goodbye. She deserves this. She was pack.

Derek watches as Lydia makes her speech. Her usually perfect face is dirtied by the mascara that mixed with her tears. But she holds her head high and makes everyone else cry with her. 

He watches as Chris refuses to say anything, just stands there looking at the coffin where his child lies. The despair and pain is oozing from him and Derek admires his strength. He also feels guilty because he’s one of the reasons why Chris is now all alone. 

Derek sees how Stiles tries to be invisible and he hears how the human’s heart beats quickly as he whispers “ _I’m sorry_ ” under his breath. 

He doesn’t see Isaac but he can feel his pain through the pack-bond. He promises to find his beta later. Now he gives both of them time to honor Allison in their own ways. They need it.

He’s surprised when he notices Peter there. He shouldn’t be – his uncle always showed how intrigued he was by Allison. Derek even stopped smelling anger on him whenever she was around. He watches as Peter puts a white rose on the coffin before he disappears again. 

_Short-lived beauty_ is what the rose means and Derek doesn’t analyze it farther.

He’s the last one to say goodbye before they put Allison in the ground. He’s toying with a dark pink rose. It means _thank you_.

“Thank you for giving me strength” Derek says and leaves. He needs to make sure her death wasn’t in vain. She deserves it.


	2. Scott

He still can smell her blood on his clothes and on his skin. He remembers the silence when her heart stopped beating. He wakes up at night drenched in sweat, feeling the weight of her lifeless body in his arms. 

Scott doesn’t know how he’s supposed to move on, to live on. It seems so easy in movies. 

Allison was his first love – his first everything and for the longest time, she was his anchor. He might’ve not been in love with her but he still loved her. He still loves Allison. 

Scott feels like before he became a werewolf – it’s hard to breath and it hurts. So much.

Kira is a wonder and he knows that without her and without his mom, he wouldn’t survive this. Kira gives him strength and he can’t understand how come she wants him. She lets him ramble and listens as he remembers all his dates and firsts with Allison. She says nothing when he compares her to Allison. Kira holds him, when he’s too scared to go back to sleep.

He’s afraid. Death has surrounded this town for a long time but it’s the first time Scott is really hit by how real it all is. It’s not a video game and Allison won’t just be alive the next time he wakes up. She’s dead and it’s his fault because he couldn’t protect her.

“Don’t be stupid” Kira tells him. “Allison could protect herself. It’s not your fault” she squeezes his hand and kisses his temple. 

Scott’s talks to her about his fears of losing someone else – her or his mom or Stiles or anyone. Kira listens and talks to him. Sometimes she’s quiet and just lets Scott listen to her heart.

When Kira’s not here, Scott cries. He’s not ashamed, he just… he needs to mourn Allison, needs to let the pain take control for a bit. He hopes it’ll make him stronger and Allie’s death won’t be pointless. 

Scott’s going to love the memory of her and he’s going to learn to live with the pain she left. She deserves it. He’s going to give her at least that.


	3. Lydia

The blood-shot eyes can’t be covered by mascara or eye-shadow. That doesn’t mean that Lydia doesn’t spend an hour in front of the mirror, trying to make it all disappear. 

The evidence of Allison’s death are still evident on her face and she throws a tube of cream at the mirror. The glass is only slightly chipped and Lydia breaks down. She covers her mouth and bites her lips as she cries. The smeared mascara looks like war paint on her cheeks and Lydia looks away from the mirror. 

She curls up in herself, pulling her knees to her chest and soaking her naked skin with her own tears. She’s never been in so much pain. Even when Peter bit her, it wasn’t as painful.  
It felt like her bones were being broken. Now it feels like someone set her on fire and was trying to tear her heart out of her chest. 

She’s choking on her tears.

“There, honey. It’s okay” her mother is pulling her in a tight hug and Lydia clings to her like her mom is the only thing to keep her alive. “Shhhh, sweetheart. It’s okay. It’s okay” her mom repeats, caressing her hair and rocking them slowly. 

Lydia’s words fail her. She wants to scream that she’s not weak. That she’s going to avenge Allison. That she’s going to make them all pay. But she can’t say a word. 

“I know, Lydia” her mom says softly. “But think what Allison would want”

Lydia wants to scream that Allison would want her to be strong, to survive. That she would understand Lydia’s need for revenge.

Lydia presses her face in her mother’s blouse and cries more because she’s missing her best friend so much. As her mom tries to calms her down, Lydia promises herself to be strong. She’s planning on picking up where Allison left.

She just needs one more day to mourn her friend.


	4. Isaac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _ **Warning**_ : _Violence (but nothing explicit)_

It’s been six days since they put Allison to the ground. He avoids everyone, going as far as moving out of McCalls’ house. Isaac sits on the floor of Derek’s loft and pulls at his own hair. He has his eyes closed and he’s biting his lip so bad he’s bleeding. The copper taste in his mouth makes him think of Allison and her body covered in blood and he howls in pain. 

The hand on his shoulder startles him – Derek left somewhere and there was no-one else who would be here – and he attacks before he thinks. 

When he comes to himself, he’s sitting on top of Stiles who looks at him in shocked fear. Stiles’ pale and has dark rings under his eyes, his hair is in disarray. Isaac remembers the Oni and Nogitsune and he screams. He hits him.

“It’s your fault! Your fault!” Isaac shouts, while his fists collide with Stiles’ face. “You killed her! Killed her!”

Stiles tries to protect himself. He raises his hands and Isaac starts scratching them. The loft is filled with the sweet smell of blood.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Stiles mutters time and time again. 

Isaac doesn’t stop. The pain and rage are boiling inside him and driving him forward. 

Stiles finally grabs his hands and pulls Isaac close. He smells tired, scared, sad. He smells like blood and something foreign. Isaac doesn’t fight him. He needs his pack even if he denies it. Isaac rests his forehead on Stiles chest, where the human’s heart is beating rapidly and chaotically, and cries. Tears are streaming down his cheeks and soaking Stiles’ bloodied shirt. 

“Give her back” Isaac says, swallowing his own tears. “Give her back”

He lets himself rest for a few minutes. Then Isaac stands up quickly and doesn’t look at Stiles, doesn’t talk to him. Isaac just walks out, runs away.

He runs in the preserve and spends the night next to the Argent’s house. He doesn’t come in but he needs to be close.


	5. Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**Warnings!**_ : _suicide thoughts, suicide attempt, slash pairing: Chris/Peter_

Day and night are mixed together and he doesn’t know what time is it. What day. What month. Still he somehow knows that it have been 10082 minutes since he last heard his little girl’s voice. The rest just blurred in a searing, pulsing pain in his chest. 

Chris sits in Allison’s room, where everything is how she left it. The bed is unmade. There’s a book with marked page – _Hamlet_ – on the nightstand that she’ll never finish. Her notebook is open on the desk and her schoolbag is on the chair. It’s already dusty but Chris can’t make himself to move anything. Can’t make himself to care.

He thinks he might be going insane. He can hear his daughter laugh in the hallway and her footsteps – graceful but deliberately heavy to let him know she’s home. Allison is dead but when he closes his eyes he almost feels her beside him. He can hear her speak to him:

_“I love you, dad”_. 

Chris sits in Allison’s room on her unmade bed and he holds a gun in his hand. It’s heavy and cold on his skin. His fingers are clutched around the handle with ease that comes only with years of handling guns. It makes him think of his first shooting lessons with Gerard. His first kill. He thinks of the first time Allison came to him with determination burning in her eyes and asked Chris to teach her how to use a gun. 

There are tears rolling down his cheek and he can blurrily see his hand shaking. His chest is tight and he can’t take a breath. The last time he felt like that was after Victoria’s death. But then he at least had his little girl, his Allison. Now he has nothing. And that hurts so much he can’t handle it. 

Chris presses a gun to his temple and closes his eyes. He sees his daughter smiling and laughing and he sighs heavily. His finger is on the trigger and he holds his breath. 

Suddenly, there’s a force that tears the gun from his hand. Chris hears the sound of broken glass but he doesn’t open his eyes. For a bit longer he wants to pretend he killed himself. He feels strong hands around his midsection and his chest, pulling him to a warm body. His face is pushed into cologne-smelling neck and Chris buries himself in it. 

Peter’s deep and rough voice speaks over him:

“I won’t let you leave me”


End file.
